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Scripture tells us that “joy cometh in the morning.” I certainly hope so because my nights are filled with hate and anger as I read comments from gaming forums.  Forums that once served as sanctuaries for gamers have transformed into warzones where various factions vie for ultimate control.  This rise in gamer-on-gamer hostility can no longer be written off as childish actions from a disillusioned minority; It is an elaborate attempt to divide all gamers by the Church of Fanboyism.  Why would this congregation of gamers prevent us from experiencing harmony? Because they’re jerks.

To clarify, Fanboys are gamers who simply enjoy gaming but have a preference towards one console over another.  A member of the Church of Fanboyism stoops to lieing, cheating and name-calling in order to make you feel bad about your choice of console.  Why? Again, because they’re jerks.

The history of the Church of Fanboyism is murky at best, but many believe that it’s members spawned on Earth during the early to mid-90s when Capcom released ‘Street Fighter II.’  The perennial fighter finally allowed the masses to properly compare the two major consoles of the era – The Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo.  Comparisons of the game’s technical abilities on both consoles allowed gamers to see the pros and cons of their respective system.  However, this inevitably led to early members of the Church of Fanboyism to unleash their first salvo onto unsuspecting gamers – “Mine is better than yours.”

Decades later, we gamers are more divided than ever.  Long gone are the harmonious 8-bit days where one could purchase any game without the threat of verbal molestation from other gamers. Today, gamers are told that a console’s CPU clockspeed ultimately dictates the amount of fun we can achieve.  We are brainwashed into believing that an X amount of frames per second states whether a game is worthy of our hard-earned cash.  And we are lectured on how a plastic box next to a TV suggests a person’s sexual orientation.  The arsenal of the Church of Fanboyism may have increased, but behind their growing numbers exists a fatal flaw – They are all idiots.

The usage of flawed logic, doctored facts, and language that can be categorized as hate speech, should be a sign of hope for regular gamers.  In an age where anything and everything can be fact-checked in seconds, we have the ability to call out these practitioners of Fanboyism and put them in their place.

Scripture states “he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Well here’s a plasma grenade to the face, Fanboyist.